ATTACKED BY A PRETZEL

Breaking News—Howard was attacked by a pretzel. Really!

Howard is a pretzel connoisseur. He looks for new pretzel experiences, always on the prowl. It’s kind of like wine tasting, except that you don’t spit it out. He was delighted to find a new pretzel, Hard Sourdough, by Tom Sturgis. But he didn’t anticipate the danger in this new product. One bite, and he found that instead of delicate bouquet (or whatever you would call the pretzel equivalent of fine wine), he had a very hard shell to conquer. As he took a bite, the jagged hard edge cut into the roof of his mouth! Not bad enough to go to the Emergency Room, but enough to draw real blood.

You may wonder, where’s the consumer problem in this little vignette? Well, here it is--does a good consumerist stay quiet and simply throw out the bag? No. Why should we pay for a faulty product? Since I was going to the supermarket anyway, I took the bag back to the store. I explained that my husband had been injured by a pretzel. The woman at the customer service desk asked if he was alright and whether I wanted to file an incident report. I thanked her for her concern, but declined her offer, and simply accepted a refund plus a voucher for a discount on that day's purchase. Will the $7 refund make or break us? Of course not. But what the hell—defect is defect, and return is reasonable, especially if I’m not spending too much time on it.

IF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD IS A PRETZEL, BUT YOU’RE ATTACKED BY ONE, YOU MAY WANT TO SWITCH TO MARSHMALLOWS