FINDING GRANDPARENTS AND ODDBALL OBSERVATIONS DURING A PANDEMIC

It’s been difficult to find interesting things to do during this pandemic. On many mornings, I wake up and think that we’re going to go on a day trip—tour a museum, go into a quaint town like Lambertville, NJ and find an interesting place for lunch. Then I remember—can’t do it. So, Howard and I just figure out each day as we move through this empty summer. And things that I wouldn’t notice otherwise become more pronounced when there’s nothing much to do. So, what have we observed during this oddest of times, and what can we do to keep busy?

Some unexpected observations—

Hills— We walk pretty much every day, mostly in the neighborhood. Did you know that stretches of road that feel like nothing when you drive become hills when you walk?

Tuna Drainer— Years ago, we used to go through the Miles Kimball catalogue. They have all kinds of cool and weird items, some useful, some just plain silly. Years ago, they had an umbrella hat. Maybe it isn’t as funny when you don’t see the picture. But imagine a picture of a man with a band attached to a mini-umbrella around his forehead. It's really pretty amusing. We never bought the umbrella hat, but we did buy a tuna drainer. It’s a round disk with holes. It fit perfectly into the tuna can, so you can turn the can over, press the drainer into the contents of the can, and all of the liquid would drain. And, an added perk—you can fill it with ground beef to make hamburgers. We never did that, since the hamburgers would be too small. But still, the perfect kitchen tool. Like everyone else, we’d stocked up on canned tuna when we went into pandemic mode. Imagine my annoyance when I found that the size of the can is now smaller. Less is more. Now, the drainer no longer fits in the can. Damn! As with too many things, we didn’t throw it out.  You never know if there could be another use for it. Which is why we can never really declutter, even during all of the down time that’s the unexpected benefit (or, more like curse) of sequestering.

The Egyptian Sphinx—I now have a better understanding of the design. Before the hair salons opened, Howard and I decided to trim our hair. Of course, mine was more complicated. When we trimmed the back, I realized that my stylist layers it. Of course, I don’t have that skill set. So, cutting straight across the bottom made the hair hang in a sort of trapezoid, like the “hair” on the sphinx. I’ve now bonded with the sphinx.

Perry Mason 1950s/60s—Howard and I love the twists and turns, and are generally amused by the often forced resolutions. But we now have additional fun figuring out who the actors are. Many are character actors who had long careers. Like Stewart Erwin. We first saw him in The Big Broadcast . (Really, we’re not that old.) Old movies can really be fun—or clunkers—for everyone. Now, with Perry Mason, we get a twofer with each episode—Who Done It and Who Is That.

Ants—Did you know that ants can swim? They can. How did I find out? I picked up one in a piece of tissue, and threw it into the toilet. I didn’t realize that it wasn’t dead. Much to my horror, I watched it swim for a moment, then start to walk up the inside of the bowl. What to do? I rejected the idea of pulling it out by hand. It took 3 flushes to finish it off.

Cemetery Adventures—That’s next on the list. Going to the cemetery is a low risk outdoor activity. I know where my grandparents are buried, but Howard didn’t know where his were buried. I made a few outreaches to local cemeteries where Jews who immigrated to the US had gotten together to buy burial plots early in the 20th century. I hit pay dirt, so to speak. So, now, we can go and visit. We’ll take pictures. Will we find other relatives there? Will we discover information that we don’t know? Are the graves even maintained? Stay tuned—this is next on our agenda.

THINK HARD--ODDBALL DISCOVERIES COME OUT OF ODDBALL TIMES