HAIR TODAY/GONE TOMORROW

My hair is a mess. While this is nothing new, it’s more frustrating during COVID-World. Will I be able to sit safely at the hair salon in a couple of weeks for a much needed haircut? Or, will I need to try some type of stop-gap solution until it's safe again?

There’s an old song, “Wild Thing”. That’s me. But I don’t quite fit the lyrics. I don't “make everything groovy”. I just look messy.

During last winter’s hair debacle, Avery looked at me and said “I cut my hair and it was a success. Do you want me to do yours?” Adorable. Such sweet compassion. She was almost 5 at the time, and had snuck in her own slight trim. Truthfully, it looked good. But I hesitated, and instead, Howard and I did what we could. Maybe this year, at almost 6, I should take Avery up on last year’s offer.

First, I should look at whether hair products will suffice to tame my untamed locks. I’m not sure why I still think that way. Going back to childhood and all of the efforts to un-wild my hair, I recall a litany of hopeful solutions. When I was little, my mother would stand me in front of her every morning, and slather Alberto VO5 on my hair, trying to subdue the frizz. Do they still make VO5? I hope not—it didn’t work, and I just felt a little greasy. I had my hair straightened when I was about 13. I can remember bouncing up and down in front of a mirror, just to see my hair jump with me as it had never done pre-straightening. But, the straightening only went so far. Soon after a treatment, I’d be back to unruly. So, I tried creams, gels, sprays, mousses, curlers. I even bought a Dyson hairdryer. Very expensive. But, as a good consumer, I somehow found the right timing to get a rarely offered discount, combined with store rewards and a store gift card, taking the price to less than half.

I could go on and on. The bottom line is that I just don’t have the talent or the patience to control my hair—it controls me. After a haircut, I receive compliments. While the compliments are sincere, to my mind, they’re a little depressing. I always feel that well intentioned compliments have a larger meaning— My hair only looks good when styled by a professional, less so when I’m on my own. Yet still I try.

For a while lately, I’d been using a product that seemed to help. So I bought an extra. The first can lasted forever, but half-way through, it didn’t seem so great. I decided to return the unopened second can. As a general precaution, I usually leave the receipt under an unopened product just in case I need to return it. I’ve now found that this isn’t always helpful since many products have a limited return timeframe. Before I went to Sephora, I scrutinized the receipt. There was nothing on it that specified a return timeframe. I walked into Sephora and handed the clerk the product and the receipt. I told her that the can was unopened, but I’m using the same product now and don’t like it anymore. The Sweet Young Thing took a glance and told me that Sephora has a 60 day return policy. I pointed to the receipt and showed her that there wasn’t a return window noted on it. She dimwittedly pointed to the counter. There, I saw a notice glued to the counter. She told me that I could find the return policy there. I looked at that vacant face and pointed out that customers don’t usually stand there, reading the on-counter notice, nor would they consult it prior to making a return, especially when with a receipt that didn’t specify a return timeframe. That dimwitted look again, as she told me that I could find the policy online. While I am not so old that I’d go looking for information on a stone tablet, it didn’t cross my mind that I’d have to go online when I had a receipt in hand. I was getting nowhere. What to do when you’re getting nowhere? Don’t waste your time—ask for a manager.

The manager came over. Her name was Morona. (It’s amazing how many Moronas there are out there. Trendy name.) Morona parroted Sweet Young Thing. The right answer would have been to say “Our return policy is 60 days. I’ll take the return now, but want to let you know for future.” No, she wasn’t smart enough or customer service oriented enough to do that. Rigidity and apathy-- just great. That’s okay—I had a plan.

I took the product to a different Sephora. I had thrown out the useless receipt. I simply said that I didn’t have the receipt (true), and that the product doesn’t work as it should (also true). I told her that I didn’t expect a refund; without a receipt, a store credit would be fine. The associate handled it appropriately and quickly. She took the product, gave me a store credit, and I walked out a happy customer who will continue to shop at Sephora. Win/Win.

In my effort to be diligent by scrutinizing the receipt and trusting that there was no hidden information, I shot myself in the foot. The key to handling a transaction like this is to keep it simple. So, I did, and it worked.

HOW YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF IS CRITICAL. IT’S ALL IN SIMPLE STRATEGY AND LANGUAGE. THE RIGHT STRATEGY AND THE RIGHT LANGUAGE WILL GET THE RIGHT RESULTS