CVS CONFUSION--CORPORATE COUPON HIJINKS

I’ve written about CVS in the past and swore that I wouldn’t write about them again. But a friend brought an issue to my attention and I just couldn’t help myself. On the one hand, I was appalled by the CVS response to her issue. On the other hand, I was falling off of my chair, laughing at their Corporate Speak.

Like many retail businesses, CVS has a loyalty program where the customer can send coupons to a loyalty card for discounts on a variety of products. They call it “Extra Care”. Tired of clicking on an infinite number of offers, I sometimes call it “I Don’t Care”. But especially in this inflationary era, I feel that I have to care or I’ll be spending more than I need to spend. The coupons probably come from the Department of Redundancy Department or the Head Up The Ass Department. The last time I clicked coupons onto my card, I counted 186 coupons. Yes, 186!!! That included several different Colgate offers, several Gillette, etc. Sometimes there are even two identical coupon offers. Even if I weren’t losing my mind as I age, I couldn’t remember the details of every coupon I’d sent to my card. Not to mention that I have better things to think about. I try to remember the essence of the ones that apply to products that I buy. That’s the best that I can do. But too frequently, either the CVS system screws up or I screw up because the coupon policies aren’t transparent or obvious.

Back to my friend’s problem. She and I both receive periodic mailed and emailed general coupons—32% off of a purchase, $5 off of a $30 purchase, etc. I haven’t received any coupons in the mail recently, but didn’t think about it, assuming that CVS finally decided to save trees. But my friend fell off of CVS’s radar totally—no mail, no email. She contacted Customer Service and received an “in their own heads” email that was actually pretty amusing. The essence of the CVS response was that my friend was selected to be part of a random group of customers who would no longer receive these extra coupons. Most of the time, random selection includes a special offer. Here, CVS pretty much sent her to the guillotine. There was no explanation of why this was the case—demonic experiments to make their customers crazy? But they went on to say that they were going to restore her mailed and emailed coupons. The kicker was that they said that they personalize coupons for each shopper. Really? If this is the case, don’t they know that I’m too old to need tampons? And, week after week, I receive diaper coupons, CVS brand toothpaste coupons—products that I don’t use. While coupons can encourage people to try products, you’d think that they’d get the message if there is really an algorithm for personalization. Though on second thought, maybe I should use the Pepto Bismol Nausea Relief coupon. It could help when I have to deal with CVS and their 186 personalized offers.

And there’s my in-store experience. There have been too many times when coupons that I thought should apply didn’t apply. I wrote to the Executive Office, and this is just part of the response that I received :

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“ Because CVS reserves the right to process coupons in any order, all coupons are applied as follows:

• Manufacturer's coupons are applied first (paper then digital).

• Next, $ off coupons are applied next (i.e. $1 off specific product) will apply first followed by any store $ off coupons (i.e. $3 ExtraBucks).

• Lastly, % off coupons (i.e. 25% OFF specific product or purchase amount) first followed by % off total order (i.e. 25% OFF entire purchase).”

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As I say to Avery when she says something wild—-Seriously??!!

I do actually manage to save money at CVS if the stars and the coupons align. I’ve even received wide eyed looks from store associates when they see how much I save. Like the hair product that started off at $26.49, with a final price of $8.15. That was nice, but shopping at CVS is work. CVS should get out of their Corporate Think mentality and think from the customer point of view. But that’s not happening so fast. Their current focus is more on the Corporate end. I can visualize the internal email to staff:

* Employees must get their TPS reports completed.

* The company only issues black staplers to employees, and any red staplers will be confiscated.

* And, lastly, employees need to show their enthusiasm by wearing as much flare as possible.

COUPONS CAN SAVE MONEY OR MAKE YOU CRAZY—OR BOTH